Fed Girl Summer: A Call To Push Back Against the Body Image Pressure
Written by Dr. Colleen Reichmann, owner and clinical director of Wildflower Therapy
Allow me to take you back in time, to the version of me that used to be consumed with anorexia…
Many summers ago, I found myself on a long-awaited vacation to Hawaii. It was a place I had been obsessively researching and wanting to visit for as long as I could remember. I felt in love with the entire island before the plane even touched down. But about two days in, I was biting my cuticles so much out of anxiety that I was actually in pain. My fingers were throbbing, swollen, and bloody. Why? I was riddled with anxiety about what the next meal would be, how it added up with breakfast, how bloated all the new food was going to make me, and how my thighs looked in my swimsuit.
I was hit with the realization that I was on this trip, but not experiencing it. My mind was elsewhere-completely occupied by thoughts about my body and food. And like so many people who struggle with eating disorders, the intensity of my anxiety around how much my body was going to be perceived had been racheted up by the season.
Now, my personal experience of this body-image and food anxiety is admittedly an fairly intense example. But summer tends to have this way of turning up the volume on body image concerns for most people, eating disorder or not.
Suddenly there are more mirrors, more photographs, more exposed skin, and more advertisements promising transformation. Social media becomes flooded with messages about getting "beach body ready," (as though the body you currently inhabit somehow isn't qualified for a trip to the beach…)
The RelentlessDrumbeat Pressure of the “Summer Body”
The expectation arrives for so many of us every year like clockwork: Shrink yourself before summer. Make sure you get toned! Fix your flaws. Change your body to make yourself worthy of being seen.
Maybe you experience this too, to some extent? Maybe you've spent time this week wondering whether your shorts still fit, but delaying trying them on. Or perhaps you have been thinking about that upcoming beach trip, but have been avoiding ordering that swimsuit because-well-trying on a swimsuit. ‘Nuff said.
Maybe you've avoided looking at photos from a recent event. You’ve tried to tell yourself that you'll feel more confident, more relaxed, more willing to participate once your body changes.
What strikes me most about all of this inner chatter is how damn joyless it is. Our society sometimes acts like body dissatisfaction is a vanity issue. But reducing it in this is such a miss in my opinion. It's an obsessional time suck, a joy thief. An energy and attention tax. A relationship strain.
Because every minute spent calculating calories on vacation is a minute not spent tasting the food in front of you. And every hour spent worrying about how your thighs look in a beach chair is an hour not spent noticing the way the shore line disappears into the horizon, or the sound of your kids laughing.
Every summer spent trying to earn your life is a summer spent partially absent from it. It’s truly devastating to think about it in this way, isn’t it? The time and joy stolen from us by having so much of our brain space highjacked?
The Cost of Chasing the "Summer Body"
Many people assume that pursuing weight loss will improve their confidence. But what we often see in therapy is the opposite.
When your brain becomes preoccupied with:
Calories
Macros
Food rules
Body checking
Comparing yourself to others
Trying to earn or compensate for food
There is less mental energy available for:
Relationships
Parenting
Friendships
Travel
Hobbies
Joy
Being present
And this experience is amplified x100 if your brain is wired with the genetic underpinnings that create an eating disorder. So with all of this in mind, let’s collectively consider how the pursuit of the "summer body" often steals the very experiences summer is meant to provide.
Welcome to Fed Girl Summer
This year, I'd like to propose an alternative.
Not Hot Girl Summer. Clean Girl Summer? Nope. Summer Shred Season? Nah.
I’d like to propose: Fed Girl Summer.
Fed Girl Summer is for anyone who is tired of spending June through August at war with themselves. It is of course for those of us in eating disorder recovery (or working towards recovery) but also for anyone who is fed up with their brain space being used for such a joyless, Sisyphean task. It’s rebellion against the very idea that your body is a seasonal problem to solve.
Fed Girl Summer means that our goal is no longer to have the smallest body at the beach- it’s to actually *gasp* enjoy being at the beach. The goal is not to earn your ice cream, it’s to taste that damn ice cream. It’s not to look like you’re having fun (while also being effortlessly hot) in the pictures- it’s to actually be having so much fun that you forget to take the picture.
Radical, right?
Signs You Might Need a Fed Girl Summer
-You need a Fed Girl Summer if:
-You have ever canceled plans because you hated how your body looked.
-You have ever promised yourself you'll start enjoying life after you lose weight.
-You have ever spent more time editing vacation photos than enjoying the vacation itself.
-You have ever fretted about which foods will be available ahead of a vacation, and wasted loads of time researching restaurants for options that are “clean” or lower calorie.
-You have ever stood in front of a mirror before a summer event and thought: "I can't look like this."
-You have ever believed your body was the reason you couldn't fully participate in your own life.
Some New Summer Affirmations
Here are a few Fed Girl Summer affirmations to try out:
Instead of: "I need to get my body ready,” try: My body is not an unfinished summer project.
Instead of: "I'll feel confident once I lose weight,” try: Confidence grows through participation, not perfection.
Instead of: "I need more willpower,” try: My body deserves nourishment, not punishment.
Instead of: "I can't wear that,” Try: The clothes are meant to fit me. I am not meant to fit the clothes.
Instead of: "I'll start living when I feel better about my body,"try: My life is happening now. I deserve to live it NOW.
And remember-body image work is the long game. Affirmations are part of that long game. So even if you don’t notice a shift right now, keep reminding yourself of the overall intention of releasing the need to micromanage your body. And consider what it would be like to work on a turning of the mind- one in which you will yourself to be more open to the idea that one day, you might not just be saying these things to yourself. With enough intention and effort, you might very well actually believe them.
If You're Struggling This Summer
If body image concerns are making it difficult to enjoy your life, know that you're not alone. Body dissatisfaction is incredibly common, but it doesn't have to be your permanent reality. Healing doesn't mean loving every inch of your body every day. It means refusing to let your body image determine the size of your life. This summer, I hope you wear the swimsuit. And take the photo. I hope you order the ice cream, and go to that BBQ. I hope you jump into the water- cellulite be damned.
Because your children, your friends, your partner, and your future self will not remember how much you weighed this summer or if your thighs jiggled as you ran towards the ocean. They'll remember that you were there.
And that, my friend, is the real heart of Fed Girl Summer.
Frequently Asked Questions About Body Image in the Summer:
1. Why does my body image get worse in the summer?
Many people notice that body image struggles intensify during the summer months. Warmer weather often means more revealing clothing, more social events, more photos, and increased messaging about "summer bodies" and dieting. If you've struggled with body image or an eating disorder in the past, these cultural pressures can make old fears feel louder.
The good news is that worsening body image in the summer doesn't mean you're failing at recovery. It often means you're navigating a season filled with body-focused messages. Learning to challenge those messages can help you feel more at ease in your body year-round.
2. Is it normal to feel anxious about wearing a swimsuit?
Absolutely. Many people experience anxiety before going to the beach, pool, or a summer gathering. Swimsuits tend to expose parts of our bodies that we may feel self-conscious about, and they can trigger fears of being judged by others.
What often helps is remembering that a swimsuit is simply a tool that allows you to participate in your life. The goal isn't to feel completely confident before you wear the swimsuit. The goal is to wear it anyway, so that your body image doesn't determine whether you get to enjoy summer memories.
3. Will I ever stop thinking about my body so much?
Yes. While body image healing doesn't necessarily mean loving every aspect of your appearance every day, it often means spending far less time and energy thinking about your body.
Many people who engage in body image therapy find that their minds become available for other things: relationships, hobbies, parenting, work, creativity, travel, and joy. Recovery isn't about becoming obsessed with body positivity. It's about becoming less obsessed with your body altogether.
4. What's the difference between body positivity and body acceptance?
Body positivity encourages people to appreciate and celebrate their bodies. For some people, this approach feels empowering.
Body acceptance takes a slightly different approach. Rather than trying to love every aspect of your appearance, body acceptance focuses on respecting your body and allowing it to exist without constant criticism. Many people find body acceptance more sustainable because it doesn't require feeling positive about your body all the time. It simply asks that your worth not depend on how you look.
5. How do I start healing my body image?
Body image healing often starts with a simple shift: treating your body as something you live in, rather than something you constantly evaluate.
This might look like:
Following more body-diverse social media accounts
Reducing body-checking behaviors
Wearing clothes that fit comfortably now
Challenging diet culture messages
Practicing self-compassion
Working with a therapist who specializes in body image concerns
Healing isn't about becoming fearless in your body. It's about building a life that’s bigger than your body. Because at the end of the day, summer was never meant to be spent worrying about how your body looks in the sunshine-it was meant to be spent enjoying the sunshine itself.
Looking for Eating Disorder Therapy in Philadelphia or the Main Line?
At Wildflower Therapy, we specialize in working with children, teens, adults struggling with body image and eating disorders (as well as parents and caregivers navigating children or teens who are struggling with eating disorders, body image concerns, highly selective eating, and the emotional toll of caring for a struggling child).
Our therapists also support children, teens, adults, and families who are navigating things like ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, and maternal mental health/infertility.
We provide therapy in-person in Philadelphia or Devon (and virtually for anyone in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Florida, South Carolina, Vermont, Virginia, Ohio, and Massechusetts.) We work with children, adolescents, and adults. We are neurodivergent-affirming, queer-celebratory, and feminist-relational in our work.
You do NOT have to do this alone. Many of us have been in your shoes. We know how hopeless it can feel. And we want to shine the flashlight in-and show you the way out.