13 Validations for Moms Struggling With Body Image This Summer
The other day, I hosted my own one-woman unboxing event, where I unveiled the haul of dresses, shorts, tank tops, light sweatshirts, bathing suits, and bathing suit cover-ups that had been tucked away in the back corner of my closet for the past several months. I enter a mental battle each summer when the weather invites me to wear shorts, tank tops, sandals, bathing suitsA familiar feeling of anxiety met me on the floor of my closet as I organized my tank tops onto one of the open shelves in my closet. Coming face-to-face with some of my deepest body image struggles has increased my awareness and empathy toward those who are feeling the same struggles, especially–because of the season of life I am in–moms.
As moms, some of us are going to be wearing shorts all summer. Some of us, despite feeling self-conscious about our legs, are wearing the shorts anyway so we bring out babies into the shallow end of the pool or so we can splash around with our kids at the beach.
For anyone struggling with body image, summer can bring moments that force us to confront long-standing insecurities. As a mom, I’ve noticed that some of these moments show up for me more frequently (or in different ways) than they did before. They tend to be wrapped in requests from little voices, in family photo ops, in opportunities to play outside or be present that nudge me up against my waveering body image.
With this in mind, I’ve found myself paying attention. Not just to my own battles with my body image, but to the quiet bravery I see in other moms around me: the ways we show up– not always confidently, not always comfortably, but still– even when our thoughts about our bodies are overwhelming. I’ve been noticing the moments that might not look like much on the outside, but feel like small acts of courage.
So here’s to the moms navigating body image struggles this summer. Whether you’re doing it full of hesitation, dread, determination, fear, or confidence, you are not alone and you deserve recognition.
13 Validations for Summer Body Image Struggles
1. To the mom wearing jeans to the park on a hot day in the middle of July
The denim of your jeans was sticking to your legs in the heat, but you knew you shorts weren’t an option for you today. Despite being hot and uncomfortable, you helped your little one go back and forth on the monkey bars (several times), you pushed your baby on the swing, you pushed the stroller from one part of the playground to another. You’re a great mom.
2. To the mom who got in the water even though she didn’t feel ready
You sat on the edge for a while with your cover-up on, then took your cover-up off and got in because your kids asked you to come play with them. I see and feel your struggle; you are a great mom.
3. To the mom who opted out of the pool party
Because the thought of going felt heavy today. You’re allowed to say no. Tuning into your needs is brave, too. I see you; you’re a great mom.
4. To the mom who wore leggings to the beach
Not necessarily because it was the most physically comfortable option, but because it was what made you feel the least self-conscious today. I see you.
5. To the mom who said ‘yes’ to a family photo
You almost backed out. You were tempted to offer to take the picture of everyone else to avoid being in it. But you smiled for the picture anyway.
6. To the mom who ate the ice cream with her kids
You silenced the voice that told you it was “too much” and that you “didn’t need it” and ordered a cone with sprinkles like your daughter’s – she was beaming as you guys ate your “matching” ice cream cones.
7. To the mom who packed extra snacks (for herself, too)
You knew a day of errands would require more than just pouches and crackers for the littles, but fuel for you, too. Staying nourished helps you show up the way you want to, and you honored that.
8. To the mom who didn’t comment on anyone’s body at the BBQ — including her own
You noticed every part of your body all day as you chased kids around at the family BBQ; you kept thinking about the way your arms looked in your tank top, but you stayed silent when self-deprecating comments came into your mind. I see you.
9. To the mom who wore shorts for the first time in years
You debated it. You hesitated. But you picked the shorts with sandals instead of your normal go-to outfit of leggings and tennis shoes. You stepped into the 95-degree day, challenging your inner-voice telling you to “cover up your legs.” You deserve to wear leggings, shorts, a dress, pants – whatever you want to wear. That small act of courage? It counts.
10. To the mom who danced at her niece’s birthday party
Not because you felt confident in your body, but because your child asked you to when the soundtrack to one of the Trolls movies started playing. The smile on your daughter’s face was worth it.
11. To the mom who didn't try to “bounce back” for summer
You didn’t do a crash diet in the months leading up to summer, you didn’t hit the ym “extra hard.” You’re letting your body just be; it feels foreign, it feels hard, and it certainly feels counter to the messages society feeds us about “getting ready for summer,” but you resisted the temptation to try to “fix” your body. How brave of you.
12. To the mom who changed outfits five times this morning
You had shorts, dresses, an array of shirts strewn all over your bed before defaulting to an outfit that makes you feel safe in your body. Good for you for recognizing what your mind and body needed today to show up in a way that allows you to feel safe and whole.
13. To the mom who avoided the mirror all day
You weren’t feeling great in your body; you avoided a mirror because you just didn’t feel Even if you had a bad body image day, you showed up anyway. You made snacks, tied shoes, read the bedtime story, filled up the water table, and went for the walk. That’s enough.
Your Worth Isn’t Measured by What You Wear (or Do) this Summer
If you’re a mom and summer is stirring up different or more body image struggles than normal, please know that there are many of us who are right there with you. Whether you feel most comfortable in baggy clothes, a bathing suit, pants, or sundresses this summer, your feelings about you are doing a great job as a mom, and struggles you have with your body image bear no weight on your worth or success as a parent. You don’t need to “just wear the shorts” if you’re not comfortable. But you can and should if you do want to. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation for the clothes you do or don’t wear throughout this season. You can wear a two-piece to the beach one day and leggings with a baggy t-shirt the next if that’s what makes you feel best. There’s no gold star for baring skin, and there’s no shame in needing more clothes on to feel safe, comfortable, and present.
So if no one’s said it lately: I see you. I get it. Showing up for your kids and for yourself when you’re struggling with feeling comfortable in your own skin can be incredibly challenging. But you’re doing it. If you’ve seen yourself in even one of these moments, know that your effort is seen, and your experience and feelings are valid. You’re doing a great job as a mom, and know and remember: having moments and days where you struggle with your body image doesn’t (and won’t ever) change that.
By: Erika Muller, Assistant for Wildflower Therapy LLC
All images via Unsplash
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