What Parents Need to Know If They Think Their Teen May Have an Eating Disorder

Written by Dr. Colleen Reichmann, Wildflower Therapy Director

As a parent, there are few things that can feel as anxiety-provoking as sensing that your teen might be struggling with an eating disorder. Adolescence is already a whirlwind—friendships shift, academics become demanding, and identity questions rise to the surface. But when you notice troubling patterns around food, exercise, or body image, the worry can quickly become overwhelming.

At Wildflower Therapy in Philadelphia, where our team specializes in eating disorders (among other mental health issues), we hear this story often: “I had a gut feeling something wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what to do.” If you’re here, you may be feeling that same sense of uncertainty.

This post will help you understand:

The subtle and obvious warning signs of eating disorders in teens

Why early intervention is so critical

How to gently and directly bring up your concerns

What to do if your teen resists therapy

Why it’s essential to seek a specialist

Eating disorders are serious, but you are not powerless. In fact, we believe parents have so much power in the fight against eating disorders. With love, patience, and the right support, recovery is possible.

Subtle Warning Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens

Parents often expect eating disorders to look dramatic: sudden weight loss or complete refusal to eat. But more often, the earliest signs are quiet, easy to miss, or easy to dismiss. Some things to watch for include:

Small but consistent eating changes: Skipping meals “because I’m not hungry” or suddenly insisting on eating alone.

A preoccupation with health or wellness trends: Obsessively tracking calories, labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” or diving deep into “clean eating” culture.

Body-checking behaviors: Spending extra time in front of mirrors, pinching their stomach, or constantly comparing themselves to others.

Mood changes around food: Irritability, withdrawal, or visible anxiety when meals are served.

Secrecy: Hiding food, avoiding shared meals, or spending long periods in the bathroom after eating.

Exercise that seems to start out well-intentioned, but escalates in time and/or intensity.

Physical symptoms: Fatigue, dizziness, feeling cold frequently, or changes in hair and skin-even before weight changes become apparent.

Obvious Warning Signs of Eating Disorders in Teens

Some symptoms are harder to ignore, and if you notice these, it’s especially important to act quickly:

Rapid or extreme weight loss/gain

Cutting out entire food groups (e.g., refusing carbs or fats)

Bingeing and purging behaviors (vomiting, over-exercising, or misusing laxatives)

Withdrawal from friends, sports, or activities they once loved

Rigid food and exercise rules (“I can only eat at X time” or “I have to work out every day”)

Why Early Intervention Matters

One of the most heartbreaking patterns we see at Wildflower Therapy is when parents wait-likely hoping the problem is “just a phase.” Unfortunately, eating disorders are not phases. They are serious mental health conditions with the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness.

The hopeful news? When eating disorders are caught and treated early, outcomes improve dramatically. Teens’ bodies and brains are still developing, which means they often respond faster to treatment. Seeking help early can prevent years of suffering and set the foundation for lifelong healing.

If your gut is telling you something’s wrong, trust it.

How to Talk to Your Teen About Your Concerns

It can feel scary to bring up your worries. You may fear your teen will shut down, get angry, or deny there’s a problem. Here are some guiding principles:

It is always better to at least try to bring it up than to ignore it. Maybe you stumble over your words. Maybe your teen is not open to the conversation right away. Try anyway.

Pick the right time. Avoid mealtimes or emotional moments. Choose a calm, private setting.

Use “I” statements. Focus on what you’ve observed, not accusations.

Be specific. “I’ve noticed you’ve been skipping dinner” is more effective than “You never eat.”

Lead with care. Frame the conversation as love and concern, not anger.

Gentle Script Examples

“I love you, and I’ve noticed you seem more anxious around food lately. I’m worried, and I want to support you.”

“I know you may not feel like anything is wrong, but I’ve seen changes that concern me. I’d like us to meet with a therapist- let’s just start with three sessions so we can better understand what’s going on.”

“This isn’t about judgment. I love you so much and I am just worried. I care too much to ignore this, and I’d feel better if we got a professional opinion together.”

Framing therapy as a short-term trial can help reduce resistance. Many teens are more open to “just three sessions,” and often, a skilled therapist can build trust pretty quickly (You’d be surprised!)

What If My Teen Refuses Therapy?

It’s common for teens to push back against the idea of therapy, especially when it comes to eating disorders, which often thrive in secrecy. Here are a few approaches that can help:

Script 1: Empathy First

“I understand that therapy may feel scary or unnecessary to you right now. It’s not about forcing you, it’s about making sure we have all the tools we need. I need you to try out three sessions for me, so we can hear what a specialist thinks?”

Script 2: Shared Responsibility

“I know you don’t want to go, and I hear that. At the same time, it’s my responsibility as your parent to keep you safe and healthy. I’m asking you to attend just a few sessions so we can make decisions together.”

Script 3: Team Approach

“You don’t have to agree that there’s a problem. You just have to be open to checking it out. Think of it like seeing a doctor when you’re not sure what’s wrong-sometimes it’s nothing, but sometimes it really helps.”

If refusal continues, remember: you are the parent. Just as you wouldn’t let your child skip medical care for a broken bone, you may need to insist on therapy for an eating disorder evaluation.

What If My Pediatrician or School Says “It’s Just a Phase”?

Sadly, many parents are told by well-meaning providers that their concerns are overblown. You may hear: “She’s just being a picky eater” or “Lots of teens are body-conscious.”

Trust your instincts. You know your child best. If you believe something deeper is happening, keep advocating until you find a professional who takes your concerns seriously. Eating disorder specialists-like those at Wildflower Therapy in Philadelphia- are trained to recognize signs others may overlook.

Why It’s Crucial to Work With a Specialist

Not all therapists are trained in eating disorder treatment. The nuances matter-an untrained provider may unintentionally reinforce disordered behaviors.

At Wildflower Therapy, our clinicians are trained in evidence-based approaches such as:

Family-Based Treatment (FBT) – empowering parents as allies in recovery

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Eating Disorders (CBT-E) – addressing distorted thoughts and behaviors

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – building emotion regulation and distress tolerance

When searching for help, ask:

Do you specialize in eating disorders?

What treatment models do you use?

Have you worked with teens in recovery before?

How will you incorperate parents into therapy- what kind of communication will there be?

Please remember-the right therapist can change everything.

Supporting Your Teen Beyond Therapy

While therapy is essential, your support at home is just as powerful. Some guiding principles:

Keep meals calm. Avoid commenting on calories or portion sizes; instead, focus on connection.

Validate feelings. Acknowledge anxiety or sadness without validating disordered behaviors.

Model body respect. Avoid negative body talk about yourself or others.

Stay patient. Recovery is not linear, and your steadiness will be an anchor.

FAQs for Parents

What if my teen says “I’m fine” or denies a problem?

Many teens minimize symptoms. Stay calm, share what you’ve noticed, and remind them you’re seeking a professional’s input, not labeling them.

What if therapy doesn’t work?

Sometimes it takes trying more than one therapist to find the right fit. Specialists are skilled at building rapport even with reluctant teens.

How do I take care of myself as a parent?

Supporting a child with an eating disorder is emotionally exhausting. Consider therapy for yourself- many parents we see at Wildflower Therapy find that having a safe space makes them better equipped to support their teen.

Final Thoughts

Eating disorders rarely announce themselves loudly in the beginning. They start with quiet changes-small shifts in food, mood, or behavior-that grow bigger over time. By noticing the signs, approaching your teen with gentle honesty, and connecting with a specialist early, you are giving your child the gift of hope and healing.

You don’t have to walk this road alone. At Wildflower Therapy in Philadelphia, we specialize in eating disorder therapy for teens, as well as therapy for parents who are navigating the heartbreak of watching their child struggle. Whether you’re in Philadelphia or the Main Line area and are interested in in-person therapy, or anywhere in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Massachusetts, Virginia, Vermont, Ohio, South Carolina, or Florida- and interested in virtual therapy, we’d be honored to help.

📍 Wildflower Therapy offers eating disorder therapy in Philadelphia, the Main Line, and across Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, Massachusetts, Virginia, Vermont, Ohio, South Carolina, and Florida. We specialize in therapy for children, teens, and adults facing eating disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD, trauma, grief/loss, and maternal mental health challenges.

Reach out today to fill out our referral form and someone will be in touch for a free consult call within 24 hours!